MR_BradW

nice story brad but one thing... you should have incluoded the water park more This is my life,what I do is wake up go to school come home mabye do some chores play some games then eat dinner.After I have done so I might do my homework and do the dishes if there clean then go back to my friends online and continue playing Call Of Duty World At War or Halo 3 on Xbox 360.Then later before I go to bed me and my mom do this 30 minute workout which we do every night.That is my life,and my name is Brad.

Road Trip By: Brad W. Alec time to get up all of you lets go up, ready lets go come on move it! says Alec’s mom Lets get to that water park, but first we have to go pick brad up form his house. Ok make sure we have everyone Alec, ok we have Derek, Jeffrey, Eddie and Patrick were ready ok then. Get in the car, to brads house then towards the water park. Brad!!, hay brad what’s up nothing really just get in the car already ok or I will make you, quiet Derek.

Ok then guys to the park, first we have to stop somewhere were going to pick up some donuts says Alec’s mom I am ok with that ,says Jeffrey Alec and Eddie I guess that’s ok says Patrick. 10 minutes later… ok where back now lets go to park says Alec’s mom. Hay you guys lets get our Ds out and talk to each other in picot chat, what’s the point of that when were all in the same car? I don’t know we can send each other some funny pictures to each other or something? Hay lets put some music on yah some music sounds nice, NOT COUNTRY!! Says Derek.

Hay does anyone have to go to the bathroom because we still have one more hour of driving and were not stopping till we get there says Alec’s mom, um… I have to go yah me to, yah so do I, ok then. “We end up pulling in to the parking lot of the mini mart or so called rest stop, at that moment I was thinking about what would happen if one of us was forgotten and for some reason I knew I was right on track”.

So we walk into the rest area and to tell you the truth I kind liked it, it wasn’t one of those old rusty dirty this place was in a dome shape kind of thing all silver and shiny the floors were waxes I think, well it looked like it at least. It had everything a store a coffee shop and in the store was a spoon that you could buy there were two kinds of them one had a bitten of part kind of weird I know. So after we walk in we straight to the restrooms and ill tell you were weren’t here for buying we were in then right out. As we were leaving me and Derek decided to get a pop out of the vender and remember what I said about coming in and out as fast as possible well I was not kidding before we know it they were gone we went outside and they were not there. No car no nothing all we had was the cloth on our backs the pops we just bought and 20$. It was going to be rough.

As we are standing there for a while we finally did something we went back in the rest stop and walked around for a while, why would they leave us? Says Derek. I don’t know but they left for sure ok lets think what should we do first, well we should sit down here for a while on a bench or something and drink our pops and wait waiting is the best idea right know, says Derek. I think your right lets stay for a while they will turn around and come back I ‘m sure of it, Derek just remember don’t over react that’s the worst thing to do. But what if they don’t come back, don’t say that Derek! You might jinx us! If we get hungry we should buy Doritos or something I don’t think there filling but that’s the only thing we can get. Wait! There is a shop in here they have food in the shop says Derek! What? The coffee shop! Derek you’re a genius, anyway I’m getting hungry.

Ok then let’s wait a little till we are really hungry we only have 20$ remember that ok… I’m getting bored so am I but we don’t have anything to do, what time is it says Derek, its 12:27. Hay if were bored we could run around or something no we should save our energy…wait! I have an idea, what is it says Derek, well what we will do is buy 2 pops, buy some food from the coffee shop then we will start walking toward the water park, that’s a horrible idea says Derek, now why is that?, because we don’t know where the water park is…duh? But remember when I asked Alec’s mom how long it’s going to take to get there she about an hour well if we start now with food and drink we could make it! But how do we know when and where to turn I know that she said her self when I asked her just keep going straight and when get to the next place or town we will know exactly where to because the big Kalahari sign will be there. But correction how will we get past the gates easy if they don’t let us we can wait outside until they leave to go to the hotel.

Come on Derek just go with it you know go with the flow. I don’t like the idea to much but I guess I will go with it’s best bet. That’s the spirit Derek!! Ok then its settled now lets go get the supplies and go but remember it takes an hour to drive there and will take at least 5 hours to get I think if we hurry don’t run because then we will be tired even more fast. Excuse me I would like um….. what do we want to order some bread or what ever is cheep and filling, ok what do you have that is cheep but filling, the cheapest is bread 5.00$ for a bread, ok then well will take 3, ok… toasted or not. Will it cost more toasted?. No It won’t, ok toasted. Here you go and have a nice day, thank you.

Easy for him to say, have a nice day. Ok then let’s go. Are you ready? Yah but I kind of worried, don’t be. Ok then let’s move.

As we walked out the door and started our way down the road we had started our journey, One that could only be held together by the friendship of two. Something…strong.

Meanwhile… So I can’t believe we not at the water park already Says Jeffrey. Hay mom, yah Alec? It feels like we are missing something… what is it, nothing. Hay Brad can I play your DS yet?... Brad?... Where is Brad? He is not in the car? No and nether is Derek! MOM STOP THE CAR! Ok turn around an go back to the rest stop!

So Derek we should just talk for a while so we don’t get bored. Yah that’s a good idea, so? What do you want to talk about? Don’t know. Hay look a car! Stick your thumbs out! Maybe it will stop! Hay that looks like Alec’s van? IT IS!!! Hay over here hay right here! Were saved thank you Lord! “need a ride guys?” You bet!

Your story hooks the audience and is really detailed. It's quite funny and exciting. Do you go to water parks much? Do you go on road trips with your friends and family a lot? Check your spelling first. Less conversation so you could see what happened at the water park.